I was supposed to be going to Lewis's tonight, but I texted him asking him if he could come to mine, because we're going out tomorrow to KFC (Don't laugh) with Aileen and her boyfriend Nahil (Think that's how you spell it?)
But he texted me back saying that he was at band practise and then he's going to his mates to get drunk, when we already planned last week that I would go to his. I mean I know I changed my mind but it would just be quicker and cheaper to get to Rotherham tomorrow if he stayed at mine tonight and I stayed at his tomorrow. But no, he decides to bail on me and piss off with his mates.
He knew that we had made plans and also he said that he would be having practise on Sunday. But now he's having it Friday and Sunday, which means I only get to see him on Saturday, one day out of the full fucking week. He's seen his mates all this week.
It's just made me feel like I'm not fucking wanted, he promises shit and we plan stuff yet he just blows it over and then it never happens, so whilst he's out having fun and getting pissed with his mates, whilst I'm sat at home doing fuck all. Clearly he doesn't want to see me and when he does he just says "I do want to and I'm really sorry" ...
But you're not though Lewis, because if you were truly sorry, you wouldn't of bailed on me, and if you really did want to see me, you wouldn't of made other plans and fucked off with your mates. And He will call later after his practise and just go,
"You okay love?" All happily, yeah feeling just peachy since my boyfriend just bailed out on me. You fucking cunt.
Then I'll shout at him saying how pissed off I am, he'll say sorry and I'll say but your not cause you wouldn't of done it otherwise, and then He's just tell me to fuck off and put the phone down on me, and switch his phone off cause he's a cunt. Then he'll call later in the morning all pissed out of his face saying that he's sorry. And root it back to something, when it's not that thing at all, it's just him being a general dickhead.
I'm that pissed off I could cry right now. How come when I always have a nice day it usually get ruins by something like this? I bet he doesn't even call actually, knobhead.
*Le sigh*
On a different note, I've been to town with Chelsea today, which was good to catch up. Blue Banana is fucking empty as hell, hardly any stock at all. Then went to Primark and got a new bra, thank fuck for that, needed one right bad haha.
The brother (George) has been writing a book recently, just starting it actually but it's really good. I mean, it's better than the stuff I've been writing for years haha. Really proud of him none the less though, it's nice to think that my brother has wanted to do some writing for a while but he hasn't had the courage to write it down. But I encouraged him to do so, and now he's on his 2nd double sided page already, not much I know but it's something.
So I treated him and bought him a book of paper to write his story in so it's not all on scraps of paper. Didn't cost much, about £1.99. Then placed a sticky note on the front saying..
"Bought you a book for your writing. Keep at it! Love, Emma xxx :)"
Then left it on his chair in his room, so he would see it. He's just come in to say thank you, I love him so much, even if he doesn't know it. I do and I'm so proud of him :)
Really hope he carries on writing it.
And then I bought a small book for me to do all my banking stuff in and that's about it.
But I'm going to go now, and try and do some writing, hopefully that will cheer me up, if that doesn't nothing will.
Emma xx
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