Hellooo :/
I decided to post since I just needed to write some stuff off my chest. Guess who it's about? Yeah, Lewis.
I really don't know what to do anymore, because no matter how many times I tell him, he just never seems to learn from his mistakes. I'm not saying that I don't make them and I'm not saything that I'm perfect cause I'm not and I know that I've made mistakes.
But ever since his mum died he's changed, and who isn't in all honesty? But it's just the fact that he's changed in our relationship and I just don't know what to do anymore. He's not the same as he used to be, and when he never gets any sleep all he does is take it out on me and it's not my fault at all. I always give him my 100% attention and I just feel like it's never good enough.
I feel like he doesn't care anymore. Like yesterday I texted him to say that I couldn't go to his cause I had caught this stomach bug and it was so back, I threw up 12 times and I haven't been sick in over 4 years. So it was quite shocking for me because I forogt what it felt like, so I wasn't kidding around. So he said that he would come to mine but only one day because he didn't want to catch it, so he said he was coming to mine today but he never did because he thinks that he's got what I had.
Which is impossible because my mum caught it on Tuesday and I saw him on Monday and I haven't seen him since, so he hasn't caught it from me. So either he's lying or there's something going on and recently I've been thinking that he may be seeing someone else cause I never see him anymore, he doesn't talk on the phone as long as he used to and whenever I ask him about it he gets so mad like he's hiding something. I don't know anymore, EVERYTHING is so fucking messed up and I just want it to go back to the way it was, but it's never going to hapeen :'/
He said he would call me at 3:00pm when I was ill, and he never did and when he said he was sorry he didn't call, I asked him why and he said that he was getting fags for danny and he forgot. How the fuck can you forget that your girlfriend is ill? If that was me I would of called him straight away, and gone to see him the next day if I couldn't on the same day. It just pissed me off to no end! I asked him how could he forget and he never answred back and this was around 5:00pm. He never texted or called later that night either.
I didn't bother calling him because it's not my place to, he should of called me when I was ill, not to sound like a total bitch, but it's the thing that you're supposed to do. I was so ill and he didn't even bother to care at all, whatsoever. Or call cause he's a stupid fucking bastard and I've got to the point where I don't give a shit anymore, if I see him or not.
Though saying that I'll probably regret it in the future if I actualyl decied to dump him, yeah I've actually got the that point. He's pissed me off and right now I just don't want anything to do with him, so I've made plans all week with friends instead of leading my life around him. CUNT ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BYE!
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