Talking About Forever, How We'd Always Be Together...

Hey...

I guess it's over.

Lewis and I split up on Tuesday, I just can't believe it happened, I really can't. I don't veven know if it was for the best or not, I know I wasn't feeling the same about him anymore, but I still love him. And I miss him so fucking much right now, I haven't been able to sleep for the past 3 days since it happened, no sleep and been crying every night. I really do hate break ups, they suck balls and take the piss to get over.

I honestly don't think I'll ever get over him, getting over Danny was a fucking ball ache, took a year and I had only been going out with him for a year. Been going out with Lew for 2 years and 6 months. I just feel lost without him. He said that everything was too much for him at the moment, like his mum and his college and that he's hardly gotten any sleep. I've been worrying about it for the past three weeks, since we haven't seen each other for that long, and now that it's happened, I don't know what to do with my self. It's going to take the piss to get over him, and to be honest, I don't think I ever will. I love him so much, and I'm listening to Black Stone Cherry right now and it's nearly making me cry, cause it reminds me of him, and it was one of his favourute bands.

I told him that I didn't know how I felt about us anymore, how harsh is that? But when we split up, I was blubbering like a baby. We had grown so close over the past 3 years, and he has become one of my best friends, I don't know what I'll do without one of my best friends. I really do hope we become friends again, because like I said I don't know what I'll do. He needs to be in my life, even if it's just as friends, Cam and I managed to be friends, so if we can do that then surely Lewis and I can.

I don't even know how he's feeling right now, don't know if he's feeling the same way. I just miss him...I just wanted a last kiss and hug from him, and I'll never get that now :'(
I have taken all my photo's down, whilst sobbing and placed them in a bag and hid them in my room, I'm never going to get rid of them. Just incase...though I don't think that will ever happen :'/

I think it just ran it's course, we had a wonderful 2 years together and I have loved every second of it, even if he thinks that I haven't enjoyed it and that he thinks he's ruined my life, he hasn't. Because these last 2 years have been the greatest EVER! And I shall always treasure them in my heart and him also as a lover and a friend. He means the world to me and always will, as a friend and more ...always <3

A BROKEN HEART HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH. IT'S SO PAINFUL.