Your Love Alone, Is Not Enough, Not Enough, Not Enoughhhhh!

My fucking mood right now....

I have just possibly had the greatest day on earth, in all it's history at college haha. It was just...magnificent. Haha though I probably should tell you what happened throughout the week before this one lol. Cause I do mean to write that stuff in, but never do. 


So on....


Saturday 24th March 2012


A load of us decided to go on a walk since it was such a nice and wonderful day <3 It's been fucking sunny recently and it's been lovely, really enjoyed it :') But yeah, there was...
Me, Jess, Balf, Lennod, Bridie, Linzi, Cam, Matt and Conor. I think that's it, and we all met at Junction and decided to go on a walk to Rother Vally, since we usually do when it's a nice sunny day.

I will get this post wrote, I keep putting it off to talk to people! God damn it haha 


Have a pic of us all sat on a slide, trying not to fall or should I say slide down then thing (What she said) It was a fun day and I really enjoyed it. Just chilling out in the sun with mates and just having a laugh haha. OMFG Cam stole my phone whilst I was talking to Sam on fb and he sent him a message saying "Suck ma nipples, plz" GOD he's such a fucking wanker haha. Chased him round for ages until I stole it back. 


Then him and Balf decided to steal my coke and throw it into the fucking river thing. Bastards haha. But I think everyone is fine with each other now, as there was some fall out between Balf and people like Cam, Birdy and Roey. But all is sorted now...I think, and hope. 

Have another photo of us all sat on the slide, and being squashed and trying not to fall off haha :')

And now I shall tell you what happened throughout the week, or last week at college before we split up from college for 2 weeks off for Easter. Boom!

Monday 26th March 2012

I WILL FINISH WRITING THIS FUCKING BLOG POST! TAKEN ME 4 DAY'S ALREADY!! ARGHHHHHH

But yeah, on Monday if I can remember. I was the only bloody chick on the course there out of 9 guys, since Aileen was ill, Nat just didn't show up. And Leanne, well...Don't really think she's coming back at all, for reasons. 

But yeah, I was the only one there and it was a good day, can't remember what really happened apart from that. Oh yeah, David and I walked to the park with Sam and Jake but they didn't stay cause there boring haha. Though I ran all the way to this MASSIVE slide, to find out that the step was too fucking high for me to get onto.

So after David finished his fucking laughing fit about my smallness, he gave me a leg up to the first step. But then I couldn't get on the next one, so he started laughing again and in the end he had to take me and his guitar all the way to the top, for me to then say that I didn't want to go on it, cause it was too high.

So in the end he decided to go down the top slide and I jumped down to go down the little slide haha. Then we went on these things and showed all the little kids up cause we we're awesome music students and played perfect music on them. Then he made a joke about me going down this baby slide, so I did. It wasn't too high haha. Then we went on the swings and stayed on them for like 30 min talking about my undying love for Sam haha. And how I would know that it's getting somewhere in life. 

Though I couldn't get off the swing and David had to stop it and grab me off cause my feet didn't touch the floor haha I fail at life. Then we sat on these spider web things and chilled until we caught the bus back. Was a good day haha. 

Though I'm off to bed, as I'm tired and I have people to text ;) I shall write more about the week tomorrow as I won't be able to from Monday onwards until Thursday haha. 

NIIIIIIGHTTTTTTTTTTT xx

Starships We're Meant To Fly, Hand's Up And Touch The Sky

Hey guys!...Look at that sexy motherfucker at the top of the post! It's Ville Valo. I'd fuck him any day haha....OOFT 

How is everyone this fine evening? I don't even know why I ask cause I know hardly any people read this thing haha. I mean, what's really that interesting about it? It's just about a chick, who talks about her sexual fantasies, a dude she has a bad crush on at college, and the amount of parties she goes to and gets absolutely wasted off her face?...

What's not to love about this damn thing!? Haha

So I need to tell you a few things, so this will be a really big post haha. So for starters..

Saturday 10th March 2012

This was fucking ages ago I know, but I never talked about it haha. It was when Jess had her birthday party at Linzi's and it fucking rocked, and before I split up with Lewis LOL. But it was fucking awesome and I just drank Sourz all night which is just basically stuff for shots, so I kind of got a bit drunk. But not badly drunk I don't think haha. But worse than tipsy, but not fucking smashed like at Cam's. Cause I was fucked at that party xD

But yeah, it was fucking awesome and I had a really great time. Roey and I just ended up playing Just Dance all night cause we're awesome and I can't remember if he slept over or not. But I remember sharing Linzi's mum and dad's bed with Lennod and Cameron. At least I think it was lennod, and Jess slept on the floor with someone else but I can't remember who it was either xD I have a video of Roey and I dancing, but it's probably tilted and shit haha.

So that video right there! Took the absolute PISS to upload. Had to go all through youtube to do it and nearly waited 2 fucking hours so I hope you all appreciate it haha. But it's so funny and Conor is just hilarious xD But it was a great night and really enjoyed it, there was some crying and some fighting but they got sorted out in the end. Even Conor felt better the morning after xD OMFG...

"Bitches love cheese on toast!" <--- Forgot to mention it on the last post haha

Which then brings me up to the start of this week which is...

Monday 19th March 2012

I don't even know if I can remember that far back actually haha, I remember buying lollies for everyone and no I actually don't know but I know it was a good day and I do remember that Sam was wearing Red jeans so it's all gravy...NO! They were Green jeans...I think. Oh I don't fucking no! haha But he looked sexy and that's something I DO remember haha. Oh! I do remember something, Sam stole my beanie and wouldn't give it me back and kept it between his legs >.< Bastard, I would of gone for it but it was too much effort, might do next time though haha

Tuesday 20th March 2012

On Tuesday we were at college again, and I honestly do remember that fucking day because it was fucking awesome! Haha I can't remember what lessons I had though, well, not all of the fuckers haha. I know I had Rockschool in the morning for ages! I'll just tell you all the good parts haha...

In Sonar Kept getting stared at and I stared back but also we talked more today than usual so it was all cool haha. Though Nat didn't like that Aileen and I were talking to Sam and Jake, but she can suck my fucking balls with her fucking death glares. Cunt!
Hahaha Tom and I were sat singing It Won't Suck Itself by Steel Panther, cause were just that awesome and cool haha.

Yeah, then later on in the day we were in Jame's lesson and  Aileen and I were talking to Sam and Jake and Nat didn't like it, clearly. But meh haha, was a laugh, then Alex decided to fucking send me a load of G's in comments on fb >.< then Jake sent me a load of A's in the messages and then Sam started so in the end all fucking four computers crashed >.< Bastards.

Then Sam and I were laughing at each other cause we had these lollies and our tongues were different colours, cause we have no life. Then everyone went and there was only Aileen, Sam and I left and we had to speak to James for a bit. And I could feel him staring at me at the table which just made me go all red. Oh! Forgot to say haha.

Was sat on Aileen's knee before all this and Sam kept piking me in my said cause I made this weird noise, then he put both of his hands round my waist and squeezed them till I started laughing. Oh sweet Jesus it was so fucking nice haha. Damn.

Then everyone left like I said so Aileen, Sam and I decided to just walk back to to college and wait outside for band practise to start. So there was Aileen, then Me and then Sam sat in this corner so then he crossed his arms and decided to poke me, so we started having this poking war between each other and he kept laughing saying I had a man chuckle so I told him he laughed like a girl. Which is true, but it's so cute haha.

Then Tom came upstairs and started to join in so I got my sticks and sat in a corner defending myself with them, and then they started poking me more, so I just Poked them back with sticks haha. I whacked them on the knee as well I think, causing pain and swearing from both of the boys xD Was funny lol

Sam decided to steal my stick, so I pressed my leg onto his and tried to get it back, which he was strangely surprised by my strength haha. Oh my legs are thicker than his, took me a while to figure out why, but it's cause I play the drums haha. Yeah, I got it off him in the end up kind of ended up on top of him a little bit :/ ... ;)

Been talking to him for the past 3 days on facebook for like 3 hours straight, trying to help him find some yellow skinnies haha, see my kind of guy haha. If he every saw this I would be soooo fucked xD
Yeah, he's a convo we had that he can't just take it  in a "Just friends" way, or it might just be me haha
Sam: Wuu2? :)
Emma: Just making some gingerbread men haha, wbu? :)
Sam: :O I want some gingerbread men!! :(
Emma: I'd give you some but youre not here, so you can't have any :) x
Sam: Well...I guess you shall have to deliver them to me then ;) x

I'm sorry but how is that just a normal friend convo, right there?! It's fucking not! Haha died and caved in lol

 

Hehe, but yeah, I got them back in the end and we all agreed that it wasn't going to work haha. Then had to go to practise and I was about to walk out the room when Sam went "Emma!" So I turned round and asked what and he just went "Can I have a hug?" I fucking died and I'm sure my face when bright fucking red haha. But I gave him a hug and it was a fucking proper one, not a one armed one but both arms round each other, and his face was buried in my neck and mine was in his haha. Was lovely :') Hehehehehe

 

Didn't get a hug off him or saw him at the end of the day as Nat dragged him off probably haha. So that was my week at college :'3

 

 

MISSON ACCOMPLISHED!

Night fuckers! I'll tell you more about my week tomorrow haha

 

I Roll Like The Hills, Under The California Sun

Hey!

So I had a great fucking weekend, even thought I was totally wasted of my fucking face and can hardly remember anything, but it was bloody insane and I loved it all. All thanks to Cameron of course for throwing an amazing party and fucking usual haha.

♫ I got a hangover, woah. I've been drinking too much for sure, I got a hangover, woah. I got a empty cup, pour me some more. So I can go until I blow up, yeah. And I can drink until I throw up, yeah. And I don't ever ever want to  grow up, yeah. I wanna keep it goin' k-k-keep it going, come on! ♫

So yeah, went at 6:00pm...I think, I can't fucking remember haha And there was hardly anyone there, but then again it did start at 7:00pm. But the docking station didn't work so we were stuck with the radio for a while, and then we decided to put Scuzz on fort he rest of the night haha. Oh my fucking god! Roey brought one of his mates called Macaulay and he's from Nottingham, Jesus christ, he was gorgeous haha. Was all punk and everything bless him, he was such a babe and he sounded like Mr. Fucking Needham haha. Love the Nottingham accent, it's so sexy and kind of posh, but it was deep and just NOM.

He's in Year 11 like, but no one needs to know that haha. Only a year younger, it could of worked if he lived closer lol. But no, lives in Notts :'( But he was sexy as fuck haha, got to sleep next to him though ;P

But yeah, everyone came sooner or later and Joel and Tom came -.- for fucks sake, we finally got music on and the drinks were flowing. We got twister out half way through the night and everyone joined in, even when everyone was totally wankered haha. Mac was the only one who played half the time as well as conor so it was all gravy. Though my head ended up in awkward positions, but honestly, I wasn't really complaining if my head was in Mac's lap haha...God I'm such a whore haha He honestly looked like that dude from the Green Day video. Told mum and she was all "Ooooooh" xD

In the process of the night, this is what happened...

1. The banister got ripped off the wall, taking the plaster with it
2. The hand rail in the bathroom also got ripped off the wall
3. I got absolutely wasted, shit faced, fucked, death in one night. Was fucking great!
4. Twister wars
5. There was a spider and snake loose
6. Macaulay is fit as fuck! I don't care if he's in Year 11 or not, I would gladly tap that shit
7. Roey, Me, Mac <3
8. I don't need anymore fucking alcohol for a long time
9. Cam vomited out of his window like a champ
10. As always, Jess cried all night over something
11. Beat Conor and Tom up cause they wouldn't shut the fuck up about bitches loving cheese on toast till 4:00am.
12. Got a grand total of 3 hours sleep
13. Wanted to grope Mac's arse so fucking bad  when he was asleep next to me haha
14. I woke up with a bump on my head, bite marks on my shoulders, bruise on my hip and carpet burns on my elbows.
15. Everyone was either upstairs in Cam's room, sat on the stairs or chilling in the living room haha.

It was so fucking hilarious when the banister fucking came off, can't believe that happened. You know it's a good party when something gets broke, someone cries and someones wasted out of their fucking head haha. Conor said it was like an episode of skins at like 3:00am. Since Mac stole my place so I cuddled up in between Roey and Mac, with my legs on Roey and my body leaning on Mac haha. Oh and Mac decided that he was uncomfey so he put his legs on my tits >.< Fuck, that pain wasn't bareable at all haha

Aww but then we all shifted again and he stole my pillow and I gave him half of my blanket since I didn't want him to freeze to death haha. OMFG I rolled over in the night and his face was right next to mine, sweet Jesus, I nearly died haha. In a good way though, so we fell asleep sharing the same pillow and our foreheads touching haha, bless him. He was such a babe. He is defo coming to the next fucking party.

It was a wonderful night, and I really needed it since I really needed cheering up badly and I feel soo much fucking better now haha. Cameron's parties are always legendary and I love them, and all the people that go to them. Apart from Tom and Joel, they have just become cunts haha. He defo needs to have another one sometime, though I don't think that will happen since the banister got ripped out of the wall haha.

Cameron Redfern:
That awkward moment when your mum looks at you
and says "Cameron, where has the banister gone!?"

Was so fucking funny haha. Though I'm off to bed now, since I have college in the morning and I'll probably be dead in a corner somewhere haha. But it's okay if I'm late so it's all gravy! Woo! Haha

Night, I've had a wonderful weekend :') I love all my friends so much, old and new :)
xxx



Talking About Forever, How We'd Always Be Together...

Hey...

I guess it's over.

Lewis and I split up on Tuesday, I just can't believe it happened, I really can't. I don't veven know if it was for the best or not, I know I wasn't feeling the same about him anymore, but I still love him. And I miss him so fucking much right now, I haven't been able to sleep for the past 3 days since it happened, no sleep and been crying every night. I really do hate break ups, they suck balls and take the piss to get over.

I honestly don't think I'll ever get over him, getting over Danny was a fucking ball ache, took a year and I had only been going out with him for a year. Been going out with Lew for 2 years and 6 months. I just feel lost without him. He said that everything was too much for him at the moment, like his mum and his college and that he's hardly gotten any sleep. I've been worrying about it for the past three weeks, since we haven't seen each other for that long, and now that it's happened, I don't know what to do with my self. It's going to take the piss to get over him, and to be honest, I don't think I ever will. I love him so much, and I'm listening to Black Stone Cherry right now and it's nearly making me cry, cause it reminds me of him, and it was one of his favourute bands.

I told him that I didn't know how I felt about us anymore, how harsh is that? But when we split up, I was blubbering like a baby. We had grown so close over the past 3 years, and he has become one of my best friends, I don't know what I'll do without one of my best friends. I really do hope we become friends again, because like I said I don't know what I'll do. He needs to be in my life, even if it's just as friends, Cam and I managed to be friends, so if we can do that then surely Lewis and I can.

I don't even know how he's feeling right now, don't know if he's feeling the same way. I just miss him...I just wanted a last kiss and hug from him, and I'll never get that now :'(
I have taken all my photo's down, whilst sobbing and placed them in a bag and hid them in my room, I'm never going to get rid of them. Just incase...though I don't think that will ever happen :'/

I think it just ran it's course, we had a wonderful 2 years together and I have loved every second of it, even if he thinks that I haven't enjoyed it and that he thinks he's ruined my life, he hasn't. Because these last 2 years have been the greatest EVER! And I shall always treasure them in my heart and him also as a lover and a friend. He means the world to me and always will, as a friend and more ...always <3

A BROKEN HEART HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH. IT'S SO PAINFUL.

I GOT A HANGOVER, WOAHHHH!! Post 30!!!

So this is my mood right now, haha I decided that I would post something since it's the 30th post...damn haha And also that I have some stuff to tell you, but I'm going to do it quick cause I cba to type it all out. I may type some stuff though if I can't find the gif for it haha.

Okay, starting with College 5/3/12

Don't think I can really remember much from Monday at college, haha Oh yeah I do. Sam kept staring at me, and I wore make up that day as well, cause Lew had done my head in, so I decided to doll myself up for once in my life. So yeah, Sam kept looking at me and I was all...

Then at the end of the day we were all sat in the common room just chatting until Nat decided to pop up the question about masturbation, so she was asking all the chicks there. ..Which consisted of Aileen and Myself cause Leanne had ran off home. So Aileen didn't say anything and I was trying so hard not to say anything but my face went all red and Sam was just sat there staring at me. And I was all...

So yeah...that secret kind of got out :/ haha So pretty much nearly everyone on my class knows I um..huh, yeah xD Though hopefully he hasn't realised that I kind of like him a little, yet...or he might of thanks to Aileen >.< But I love her to pieces <3

Tuesday 6/3/12

Was early for college for once as bus came like 15 min early so when I got to college there was only Nat and Sam sat near the library, so I sat down on the step next to him and well just chilled, then Nat wanted me to go with her to the classroom, so she was all

"Emma, come with me" So I stood up and Sam went,

"No, stay with me" And it went back and fourth like that for a bit until he said something about his green jeans so I stayed with him haha and Nat walked off.

OH MY FUCKING DAYS! HE LOOKED SO SEXY ON MONDAY AND TUESDAY!! Just thought I would get that off my chest, I was like...

I'd do more than fucking love him ;) Ehem...sorry about that. Anyways! Yeah so I stayed with him but it was awkward as fuck haha, but nice awkward.

Oh we decided to see if I could fit into Mitchell's guitar bag at college, so they opened it up and I just scrunched myself up inside it and then they zipped it up, and I could fit inside! I am so proud haha I'll try and get a pic off someone haha.

Had Sonar, Aileen and Alex decided to play a game of see how far you could push Emma on a spinny chair. Kept getting stared at by Sam in Rockschool in the morning, we swapped seats haha. SEXUAL TENSION, WE CAN BOTH FEEL IT!!!! Sorry, it was appropriate and I'm listening to Steel Panther haha.

It's probably all just in my head really haha, but when he Say's "Dirty Bitch" Oh sweet Jesus...I "cave in" big time..as Aileen would call it haha. But anyways, I found out what band I'm in for our Current Event's project and I'm with fucking Kriss! >.< Bollocks



 I'm also with John, Mitchell and Tyler but Ty is never here so James will fill in for us. I love John he's a babe, Mitch is okay he's just big headed and wants to do everything his way. fuck no's how he's going to be a Session Musician haha. But he threw a paddy and ended up getting kicked out by Dave where everyone shat themselves thinking they were going to die haha. It was so scary, but he was a;; "I've already been with all them" and getting all mardy and I was like...

Ahahaha I got a hug off Sam at the end of the say and it was like a one armed hug, but I was like really in his chest and he felt wonderful haha I was all...

Wednesday 7/3/12

Had band practice in Rotherham with Aileen and David, which was good but we kind of failed cause we didn't know anything really and it all just disappeared. Kriss was there again like he always is, fucking everything up...cunt...

How we all were on that day, then went back to Aileen's cause I slept over and it was just such a laugh haha. Pretty much ended up about Sam, how I kinda decided that Andy Sixx was OKAY (only okay) without make-up and just how awesome Aileen's mum is haha She's a babe. Everyone in her family is, and I am truly happy that I have found her as a friend, don't know what I would do without her haha :')

That gif explains how Aileen and I dance at college haha. We then ended up going to see Harry's band play who were fucking awesome, then he came back to Aileen's with us and we just sat and watched music for a bit. And Aileen's mate Jay came, then Harry went later on cause he had work, only realising that he had keft his bus pass. Haha then I watched Saw whilst Aileen fell asleep ang laughed whilst in sleeping haha. Don't know why I didn't watch it before, I really don't haha.

Lol Harry came in the morning to collect his pass and we were all cuddled up in bed haha.
"And the little one said"..."Good morning!"...I fail at life in the morning haha. Then took a walk to asda and saw Jake so was speaking to him for ages and then I ended up coming home.

Friday 9/3/12

Which takes me to my where abouts now, because I told my mum and dad that my phone was going to die and I couldn't call, said I would be home in the afternoon. But didn't get home till 9:00pm at night, so they were soooooo pissed off when I walked through the door, that pissed that dad had called around everyone who then called everyone else, he was nearly crying and he didn't want to speak to me and told me to get upstairs. And he had to call the police back because he had called them and reported me as a missing person....FUUUCKKKK.

So I wasn't aloud to go out with Jess for her birthday meal tonight, and I'm grounded for all of next week. BUT! I may have gotten round my mum and dad to let me go to a party tomorrow so it's all gravy! :D

So all should be fine and I'm in a happy mood, had a great week with EVERYONE!! Haha
Byeeee xxx

Remember You, Stretched Out In The Sun

Hellooo :/

I decided to post since I just needed to write some stuff off my chest. Guess who it's about? Yeah, Lewis.

I really don't know what to do anymore, because no matter how many times I tell him, he just never seems to learn from his mistakes. I'm not saying that I don't make them and I'm not saything that I'm perfect cause I'm not and I know that I've made mistakes.

But ever since his mum died he's changed, and who isn't in all honesty? But it's just the fact that he's changed in our relationship and I just don't know what to do anymore. He's not the same as he used to be, and when he never  gets any sleep all he does is take it out on me and it's not my fault at all. I always give him my 100% attention and I just feel like it's never good enough.

I feel like he doesn't care anymore. Like yesterday I texted him to say that I couldn't go to his cause I had caught this stomach bug and it was so back, I threw up 12 times and I haven't been sick in over 4 years. So it was quite shocking for me because I forogt what it felt like, so I wasn't kidding around. So he said that he would come to mine but only one day because he didn't want to catch it, so he said he was coming to mine today but he never did because he thinks that he's got what I had.

Which is impossible because my mum caught it on Tuesday and I saw him on Monday and I haven't seen him since, so he hasn't caught it from me. So either he's lying or there's something going on and recently I've been thinking that he may be seeing someone else cause I never see him anymore, he doesn't talk on the phone as long as he used to and whenever I ask him about it he gets so mad like he's hiding something. I don't know anymore, EVERYTHING is so fucking messed up and I just want it to go back to the way it was, but it's never going to hapeen :'/

He said he would call me at 3:00pm when I was ill, and he never did and when he said he was sorry he didn't call, I asked him why and he said that he was getting fags for danny and he forgot. How the fuck can you forget that your girlfriend is ill? If that was me I would of called him straight away, and gone to see him the next day if I couldn't on the same day. It just pissed me off to no end! I asked him how could he forget and he never answred back and this was around 5:00pm. He never texted or called later that night either.

I didn't bother calling him because it's not my place to, he should of called me when I was ill, not to sound like a total bitch, but it's the thing that you're supposed to do. I was so ill and he didn't even bother to care at all, whatsoever. Or call cause he's a stupid fucking bastard and I've got to the point where I don't give a shit anymore, if I see him or not.

Though saying that I'll probably regret it in the future if I actualyl decied to dump him, yeah I've actually got the that point. He's pissed me off and right now I just don't want anything to do with him, so I've made plans all week with friends instead of leading my life around him. CUNT ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BYE!