I Roll Like The Hills, Under The California Sun

Hey!

So I had a great fucking weekend, even thought I was totally wasted of my fucking face and can hardly remember anything, but it was bloody insane and I loved it all. All thanks to Cameron of course for throwing an amazing party and fucking usual haha.

♫ I got a hangover, woah. I've been drinking too much for sure, I got a hangover, woah. I got a empty cup, pour me some more. So I can go until I blow up, yeah. And I can drink until I throw up, yeah. And I don't ever ever want to  grow up, yeah. I wanna keep it goin' k-k-keep it going, come on! ♫

So yeah, went at 6:00pm...I think, I can't fucking remember haha And there was hardly anyone there, but then again it did start at 7:00pm. But the docking station didn't work so we were stuck with the radio for a while, and then we decided to put Scuzz on fort he rest of the night haha. Oh my fucking god! Roey brought one of his mates called Macaulay and he's from Nottingham, Jesus christ, he was gorgeous haha. Was all punk and everything bless him, he was such a babe and he sounded like Mr. Fucking Needham haha. Love the Nottingham accent, it's so sexy and kind of posh, but it was deep and just NOM.

He's in Year 11 like, but no one needs to know that haha. Only a year younger, it could of worked if he lived closer lol. But no, lives in Notts :'( But he was sexy as fuck haha, got to sleep next to him though ;P

But yeah, everyone came sooner or later and Joel and Tom came -.- for fucks sake, we finally got music on and the drinks were flowing. We got twister out half way through the night and everyone joined in, even when everyone was totally wankered haha. Mac was the only one who played half the time as well as conor so it was all gravy. Though my head ended up in awkward positions, but honestly, I wasn't really complaining if my head was in Mac's lap haha...God I'm such a whore haha He honestly looked like that dude from the Green Day video. Told mum and she was all "Ooooooh" xD

In the process of the night, this is what happened...

1. The banister got ripped off the wall, taking the plaster with it
2. The hand rail in the bathroom also got ripped off the wall
3. I got absolutely wasted, shit faced, fucked, death in one night. Was fucking great!
4. Twister wars
5. There was a spider and snake loose
6. Macaulay is fit as fuck! I don't care if he's in Year 11 or not, I would gladly tap that shit
7. Roey, Me, Mac <3
8. I don't need anymore fucking alcohol for a long time
9. Cam vomited out of his window like a champ
10. As always, Jess cried all night over something
11. Beat Conor and Tom up cause they wouldn't shut the fuck up about bitches loving cheese on toast till 4:00am.
12. Got a grand total of 3 hours sleep
13. Wanted to grope Mac's arse so fucking bad  when he was asleep next to me haha
14. I woke up with a bump on my head, bite marks on my shoulders, bruise on my hip and carpet burns on my elbows.
15. Everyone was either upstairs in Cam's room, sat on the stairs or chilling in the living room haha.

It was so fucking hilarious when the banister fucking came off, can't believe that happened. You know it's a good party when something gets broke, someone cries and someones wasted out of their fucking head haha. Conor said it was like an episode of skins at like 3:00am. Since Mac stole my place so I cuddled up in between Roey and Mac, with my legs on Roey and my body leaning on Mac haha. Oh and Mac decided that he was uncomfey so he put his legs on my tits >.< Fuck, that pain wasn't bareable at all haha

Aww but then we all shifted again and he stole my pillow and I gave him half of my blanket since I didn't want him to freeze to death haha. OMFG I rolled over in the night and his face was right next to mine, sweet Jesus, I nearly died haha. In a good way though, so we fell asleep sharing the same pillow and our foreheads touching haha, bless him. He was such a babe. He is defo coming to the next fucking party.

It was a wonderful night, and I really needed it since I really needed cheering up badly and I feel soo much fucking better now haha. Cameron's parties are always legendary and I love them, and all the people that go to them. Apart from Tom and Joel, they have just become cunts haha. He defo needs to have another one sometime, though I don't think that will happen since the banister got ripped out of the wall haha.

Cameron Redfern:
That awkward moment when your mum looks at you
and says "Cameron, where has the banister gone!?"

Was so fucking funny haha. Though I'm off to bed now, since I have college in the morning and I'll probably be dead in a corner somewhere haha. But it's okay if I'm late so it's all gravy! Woo! Haha

Night, I've had a wonderful weekend :') I love all my friends so much, old and new :)
xxx



Talking About Forever, How We'd Always Be Together...

Hey...

I guess it's over.

Lewis and I split up on Tuesday, I just can't believe it happened, I really can't. I don't veven know if it was for the best or not, I know I wasn't feeling the same about him anymore, but I still love him. And I miss him so fucking much right now, I haven't been able to sleep for the past 3 days since it happened, no sleep and been crying every night. I really do hate break ups, they suck balls and take the piss to get over.

I honestly don't think I'll ever get over him, getting over Danny was a fucking ball ache, took a year and I had only been going out with him for a year. Been going out with Lew for 2 years and 6 months. I just feel lost without him. He said that everything was too much for him at the moment, like his mum and his college and that he's hardly gotten any sleep. I've been worrying about it for the past three weeks, since we haven't seen each other for that long, and now that it's happened, I don't know what to do with my self. It's going to take the piss to get over him, and to be honest, I don't think I ever will. I love him so much, and I'm listening to Black Stone Cherry right now and it's nearly making me cry, cause it reminds me of him, and it was one of his favourute bands.

I told him that I didn't know how I felt about us anymore, how harsh is that? But when we split up, I was blubbering like a baby. We had grown so close over the past 3 years, and he has become one of my best friends, I don't know what I'll do without one of my best friends. I really do hope we become friends again, because like I said I don't know what I'll do. He needs to be in my life, even if it's just as friends, Cam and I managed to be friends, so if we can do that then surely Lewis and I can.

I don't even know how he's feeling right now, don't know if he's feeling the same way. I just miss him...I just wanted a last kiss and hug from him, and I'll never get that now :'(
I have taken all my photo's down, whilst sobbing and placed them in a bag and hid them in my room, I'm never going to get rid of them. Just incase...though I don't think that will ever happen :'/

I think it just ran it's course, we had a wonderful 2 years together and I have loved every second of it, even if he thinks that I haven't enjoyed it and that he thinks he's ruined my life, he hasn't. Because these last 2 years have been the greatest EVER! And I shall always treasure them in my heart and him also as a lover and a friend. He means the world to me and always will, as a friend and more ...always <3

A BROKEN HEART HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH. IT'S SO PAINFUL.

I GOT A HANGOVER, WOAHHHH!! Post 30!!!

So this is my mood right now, haha I decided that I would post something since it's the 30th post...damn haha And also that I have some stuff to tell you, but I'm going to do it quick cause I cba to type it all out. I may type some stuff though if I can't find the gif for it haha.

Okay, starting with College 5/3/12

Don't think I can really remember much from Monday at college, haha Oh yeah I do. Sam kept staring at me, and I wore make up that day as well, cause Lew had done my head in, so I decided to doll myself up for once in my life. So yeah, Sam kept looking at me and I was all...

Then at the end of the day we were all sat in the common room just chatting until Nat decided to pop up the question about masturbation, so she was asking all the chicks there. ..Which consisted of Aileen and Myself cause Leanne had ran off home. So Aileen didn't say anything and I was trying so hard not to say anything but my face went all red and Sam was just sat there staring at me. And I was all...

So yeah...that secret kind of got out :/ haha So pretty much nearly everyone on my class knows I um..huh, yeah xD Though hopefully he hasn't realised that I kind of like him a little, yet...or he might of thanks to Aileen >.< But I love her to pieces <3

Tuesday 6/3/12

Was early for college for once as bus came like 15 min early so when I got to college there was only Nat and Sam sat near the library, so I sat down on the step next to him and well just chilled, then Nat wanted me to go with her to the classroom, so she was all

"Emma, come with me" So I stood up and Sam went,

"No, stay with me" And it went back and fourth like that for a bit until he said something about his green jeans so I stayed with him haha and Nat walked off.

OH MY FUCKING DAYS! HE LOOKED SO SEXY ON MONDAY AND TUESDAY!! Just thought I would get that off my chest, I was like...

I'd do more than fucking love him ;) Ehem...sorry about that. Anyways! Yeah so I stayed with him but it was awkward as fuck haha, but nice awkward.

Oh we decided to see if I could fit into Mitchell's guitar bag at college, so they opened it up and I just scrunched myself up inside it and then they zipped it up, and I could fit inside! I am so proud haha I'll try and get a pic off someone haha.

Had Sonar, Aileen and Alex decided to play a game of see how far you could push Emma on a spinny chair. Kept getting stared at by Sam in Rockschool in the morning, we swapped seats haha. SEXUAL TENSION, WE CAN BOTH FEEL IT!!!! Sorry, it was appropriate and I'm listening to Steel Panther haha.

It's probably all just in my head really haha, but when he Say's "Dirty Bitch" Oh sweet Jesus...I "cave in" big time..as Aileen would call it haha. But anyways, I found out what band I'm in for our Current Event's project and I'm with fucking Kriss! >.< Bollocks



 I'm also with John, Mitchell and Tyler but Ty is never here so James will fill in for us. I love John he's a babe, Mitch is okay he's just big headed and wants to do everything his way. fuck no's how he's going to be a Session Musician haha. But he threw a paddy and ended up getting kicked out by Dave where everyone shat themselves thinking they were going to die haha. It was so scary, but he was a;; "I've already been with all them" and getting all mardy and I was like...

Ahahaha I got a hug off Sam at the end of the say and it was like a one armed hug, but I was like really in his chest and he felt wonderful haha I was all...

Wednesday 7/3/12

Had band practice in Rotherham with Aileen and David, which was good but we kind of failed cause we didn't know anything really and it all just disappeared. Kriss was there again like he always is, fucking everything up...cunt...

How we all were on that day, then went back to Aileen's cause I slept over and it was just such a laugh haha. Pretty much ended up about Sam, how I kinda decided that Andy Sixx was OKAY (only okay) without make-up and just how awesome Aileen's mum is haha She's a babe. Everyone in her family is, and I am truly happy that I have found her as a friend, don't know what I would do without her haha :')

That gif explains how Aileen and I dance at college haha. We then ended up going to see Harry's band play who were fucking awesome, then he came back to Aileen's with us and we just sat and watched music for a bit. And Aileen's mate Jay came, then Harry went later on cause he had work, only realising that he had keft his bus pass. Haha then I watched Saw whilst Aileen fell asleep ang laughed whilst in sleeping haha. Don't know why I didn't watch it before, I really don't haha.

Lol Harry came in the morning to collect his pass and we were all cuddled up in bed haha.
"And the little one said"..."Good morning!"...I fail at life in the morning haha. Then took a walk to asda and saw Jake so was speaking to him for ages and then I ended up coming home.

Friday 9/3/12

Which takes me to my where abouts now, because I told my mum and dad that my phone was going to die and I couldn't call, said I would be home in the afternoon. But didn't get home till 9:00pm at night, so they were soooooo pissed off when I walked through the door, that pissed that dad had called around everyone who then called everyone else, he was nearly crying and he didn't want to speak to me and told me to get upstairs. And he had to call the police back because he had called them and reported me as a missing person....FUUUCKKKK.

So I wasn't aloud to go out with Jess for her birthday meal tonight, and I'm grounded for all of next week. BUT! I may have gotten round my mum and dad to let me go to a party tomorrow so it's all gravy! :D

So all should be fine and I'm in a happy mood, had a great week with EVERYONE!! Haha
Byeeee xxx

Remember You, Stretched Out In The Sun

Hellooo :/

I decided to post since I just needed to write some stuff off my chest. Guess who it's about? Yeah, Lewis.

I really don't know what to do anymore, because no matter how many times I tell him, he just never seems to learn from his mistakes. I'm not saying that I don't make them and I'm not saything that I'm perfect cause I'm not and I know that I've made mistakes.

But ever since his mum died he's changed, and who isn't in all honesty? But it's just the fact that he's changed in our relationship and I just don't know what to do anymore. He's not the same as he used to be, and when he never  gets any sleep all he does is take it out on me and it's not my fault at all. I always give him my 100% attention and I just feel like it's never good enough.

I feel like he doesn't care anymore. Like yesterday I texted him to say that I couldn't go to his cause I had caught this stomach bug and it was so back, I threw up 12 times and I haven't been sick in over 4 years. So it was quite shocking for me because I forogt what it felt like, so I wasn't kidding around. So he said that he would come to mine but only one day because he didn't want to catch it, so he said he was coming to mine today but he never did because he thinks that he's got what I had.

Which is impossible because my mum caught it on Tuesday and I saw him on Monday and I haven't seen him since, so he hasn't caught it from me. So either he's lying or there's something going on and recently I've been thinking that he may be seeing someone else cause I never see him anymore, he doesn't talk on the phone as long as he used to and whenever I ask him about it he gets so mad like he's hiding something. I don't know anymore, EVERYTHING is so fucking messed up and I just want it to go back to the way it was, but it's never going to hapeen :'/

He said he would call me at 3:00pm when I was ill, and he never did and when he said he was sorry he didn't call, I asked him why and he said that he was getting fags for danny and he forgot. How the fuck can you forget that your girlfriend is ill? If that was me I would of called him straight away, and gone to see him the next day if I couldn't on the same day. It just pissed me off to no end! I asked him how could he forget and he never answred back and this was around 5:00pm. He never texted or called later that night either.

I didn't bother calling him because it's not my place to, he should of called me when I was ill, not to sound like a total bitch, but it's the thing that you're supposed to do. I was so ill and he didn't even bother to care at all, whatsoever. Or call cause he's a stupid fucking bastard and I've got to the point where I don't give a shit anymore, if I see him or not.

Though saying that I'll probably regret it in the future if I actualyl decied to dump him, yeah I've actually got the that point. He's pissed me off and right now I just don't want anything to do with him, so I've made plans all week with friends instead of leading my life around him. CUNT ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BYE!

Here, have some songs

Here have some videos that were taken from college yesterday at our performance. 

We all got put into three groups and we had to make an original song up and we had to do a cover also. The project was on the theme of love and our last one was punk, the order of people are..


First Video:
John - Vocals
Mitchell - Guitar
Tom - Bass
Sam - Drums
Me - Drums


Second Video:
Aileen - Vocals
Sam - Guitar
Simon - Guitar
Leanne - Drums

Third Video:
Natalie - Vocals
David - Guitar
Kriss - Guitar
Alex - Bass
Jake - Drums

If You Want Me, The Cherry On Top (Dirty Bitch)

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

I'm in a really good mood and it's all thanks to college. To say that I complain about going (and I'm only there 2 days a week) I don't know why cause I love it afterwards. It's always a bloody laugh, even when Jake and Sam decide to gang up on me >.< Oh yeah, the thing at the top is what Jake put on FB to describe us all from today haha
But yeah, we had our performance today which went okay actually, to say that I had hardly practised it at all haha. I did have some mistakes but they weren't noticeable, unless you're a drummer. But it went good, everyone else did wonderful too, and I love every single one of them...well...there is Kriss. I feel bad about saying that now, but he is fucking annoying as hell! I can't remember what I was on about now...

So yeah, each band did their performance and then we had one more lesson which was James's then we got to go home at 2:00pm instead of 7:00pm at night! Winning!
But we didn't go home and ended up staying for another 3 hours at college till 5:00pm haha.

We talked about....Sex, cock, fage, virgins, ass, music, bands, that's what she said, dirty bitch, dirty bastard and a load of other crap haha We're a strange lot. It's become my name at college to be called Dirty Bitch...not in that way. But simply because everything anyone says I take it in a wrong way and say...

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!"


OMFG! Nat did the best one ever today, she was trying to understand where the cable goes on the speakers so she said "What hole does it go in? Cause there's three and I don't know where it goes!?" So I was about to say something and mate Sam goes "Don't!" But I couldn't resist that and just had to say "That's what she said!" Really loud haha, then got called a Dirty Bitch...again ;)

Then we just ended up going into the common room and chilling for like 3 hours, there was...Me, Aileen, Harry, Sam, Mitch, Jake, Leanne, Nat and Callum. I don't even remember what we did for that long, just sat and talked about random crap...and Leanne's shoe. OMFG That shoe was horrible, Sam decided to shove it in people's faces cause he's charming like that. Fucking smelt fresh >.<

I was sat in the chair, then went to the loo. Aileen nicked it, so I sat with her, then I ended up on the floor, then on a stool, then on the couch with Sam and Mitch then he moved and then I ended up sharing the couch with Sam. Which then we decided to play a game with Nat to see how many Midget Gems (Understatement of the fucking year) we could both throw into her top haha. Then me and Leanne had a lovely convo about camping and bribed everyone to go camping...well nearly everyone haha.

Then it died down a bit and Mitch fell asleep so he got the shoe in his face, so did Aileen and I. It was fucking fresh >.< But yeah Aileen fell asleep, Mitch fell asleep but then moved, then Sam laid on one end of the couch, and I laid on the other side and I kinda drifted of as he played with the games on my phone haha.

                                       

But also  in the space of that day, I got shoved into an elevator, booted with a guitar case constantly, picked up, beanie stolen, forgot the beanie then walked up the stairs and Tom saved it and I gave him a big cuddle since he saved me purple child. Got called a Dirty Bitch constantly. Oh! I went to kick Sam and booted the wall instead, since I was walking down the stairs earlier before that and he nudged behind my knee with his foot and I nearly fell down the stairs. And something happened with some parts of a drum kit but I can't remember haha.

Then we all ended up going home and I admitted something to Jess and Aileen...Balls. I might tell you about that another day. Oh yeah, Aileen and David nearly pissed themselves cause I snorted when I laughed >.<

JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL, LIVING IN A LONELY WORLD!!! DON'T STOP BELIEVEIN'!!!

Sorry just had a random singing moment then, but yeah we all just ended up packing up at 5:00pm then going home, everyone giving everyone that was there triple hugs. Since we said we were going then we didn't so it was just a circle of hugs haha. We're like a giant family and I love them all.

Also! I got invited to go to this place on Friday night with everyone from college but I can't cause I've already invited Jess and Lennod to sleep and have a girly night, though it wouldn't of been so bad to see a certain someone ;) and some friends haha :) Love them all so much, they never fail to put a smile on my face. And I know it sounds mean towards my old friends and don't get me wrong, I love all of them to death. But since I've found people who love the same things as me and just music in general, it's a wonderful feeling to know each and everyone of them. I am so happy I travel all that way to that specific college, because I would of never met some of the most wonderful, kind, smart, cheerful and funny people in my life :') <3

                                      

Night all x

I'm Calling At Night, I don't Mean To Be A Bother....

Hey guys,

Sorry I haven't spoke in a while, I just couldn't be assed to write a post, but I'm here now.
I haven't been up to much really, well that's a lie. I have.

Last week it was half term, so I had the week off from college. I saw a lot of Jess and Lennod which was so lovely to spend time with them as there by best friends and I hardly see any of my friends sometimes so it was nice seeing them for once.

[I've just been trying to add fucking gifs for the last fucking 5 minutes and none of them are fucking working!!]

I will tell you about being with them another day as I'm just too fucking pissed off at Lewis to tell you all the good stuff that actually happened throughout the holiday.

He's being a total cunt and I fucking hate him at the moment, just because he hasn't been having any sleep all week, he decides that anything I say when I speak to him, he fucking shouts at me down the phone, everything and anything I say. He has a fucking bitch, and he's been doing it for he past week.

All I was fucking trying to do was help him, but if he doesn't want the bloody fucking help he can fuck right off, the wanker. I swear, I try helping people and all I get is the shit thrown back in my face, there is no fucking point in helping people anymore, especially not him. I've done nothing but help him since his mum died, and all I get is a fucking butch at. Well he can fuck off.

See! Fucking Reid understands, as soon as I saw this fucking episode, I was all...
"That's me that, I can totally relate to that!"

He's always "You're not listening to me" I FUCKING LISTEN TO YOU 24/4 ABOUT YOUR FUCKING BAND AND COLLEGE AND ALWAYS FUCKING ASK YOU HOW YOUR DAY WAS, YET YOU DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING DECENCY TO ASK ME HOW MY DAY WAS AT ALL, YOU ONLY FUCKING ASK ME IF I MAKE A FUCKING COMMENT ABOUT IT...

"Oh yeah, how was your day love?"
FUCK RIGHT OFF YOU FUCKING TWAT!

I've been thinking to myself recently if there is someone else, or if he just blows off plans with me for his fucking mates. I don't give a shit what happens this week, cause I am not seeing his fucking band play. Half the time how can he say that I don't listen to him, or that I don't care?!

I fucking pay £5 all the time to go see his own band play for like 3 hours, yet he can't even spend 10 fucking minutes with me on he phone anymore. I just don't know what to do anymore, and it's going to get to a point where I don't give a shit.

And I can see what's going to happen next, because it's happened before, and he will dump me for the 3rd time, and to be honest when that time comes, I don't even know if I will want to take him back! He never calls me and it's always me that has to do it.

And how come when you have such an argument with someone and you promise yourself that you're not going to call them. Yet your the one that always calls up at the end of it saying sorry, when it wasn't even your fault in the first place?

He was supposed to come to mine last week and he never fucking did. I'm going to stop cause I'm just getting more depressed, stressed, upset, angry and just altogether pissed off. I really can't be fucking arsed with college tomorrow at all, and I definitely can't be assed to stay till 7:00pm. It's such a fucking ridiculous time. And it Dave fucking even starts to have a go at me tomorrow, he can fuck right off cause I'm not in the mood for anyone and I will probably just cry all day, because he is a fucking wanker!!!

Fucking Night!